Trying to put their best one-billion feet forward, the people of China and especially their government have taken some unprecedented steps to make the upcoming Olympic Games as welcoming as possible to the more than 500-thousand expected tourists and athletes.

We heard months ago that Chinese officials warned their own citizens against spitting, littering and speaking loudly.  Now the Dongcheng District Propaganda Ministry has plastered posters all around Olympic venues with a list of eight “don’t asks.”  They are:

1)      Don’t ask bout income or expenses

2)     Don’t ask about age

3)     Don’t ask about love life or marriage

4)     Don ask about health

5)     Don’t ask about someone’s home or address

6)     Don’t ask about personal experiences

7)     Don’t ask about religious beliefs or political views

8)     Don’t ask what someone does for a living

So if you’re headed to Beijing as either an athlete or tourists, when it comes to the answering these tough questions, you can now breath a little easier…well, except for the overwhelming air pollution!

Due to the fact that the Chicago Cubs are visiting the Diamondbacks this week, city officials have asked local residents to curtail their beer comsumption so the onslaught of beer guzzling Cub fans at Chase Feild will not completely drain our valley's beer supply. 

"Those fans haven't had much to cheer about for the past decade" said one city official, "they may not have a championship, but they know how to quaff the suds!" 

The steep increase in demand for Old Style and Milwaulkee's Best has reignited the debate about future beer reserves and our reliance on foreign beer to meet our needs. 

Those supporting a run by Willy D. Loon for Senator are asking him to look into the prospect of drilling for beer in the ANWR Reserve of Alaska.  Says Loon;  "as I lifelong Cub fan I feel like I've been part of the problem...why not take the initiative to finally be part of the solution?"

Thanks to the more than 17-hundred of you who took our survey a couple weeks ago!  Your input will help us in our return to the radio airwaves.

Here's a sampling of the resutls...

43% of you have listened to Tim & Willy for more than 10 years!

70% both listened on the radio and watched us on 3TV

Most of you started your drive to work between 6 and 7:30am

30% listened to some kind of streaming radio show on the internet

52% listen to an iPod or other MP3 player

While 42% have never listened to a podcast, 22% of you had hear the Tim & Willy Radio Podcast

17% of you subscribe to one of the Satellite radio services while 40% more might sign up for it.

32% of you would prefer Tim & Willy come back on a country station while 58% didn't care WHAT KIND OF STATION, just as long as we come back soon!

and one more thing...

In terms of birth order, our listeners are:

31% First Borns

33% Middle Children

27% Babys

5.5% Only Children

*2.6% percent of you don't know what your birth order is!

By the way, the following survey responders were selected at random and won tickets to see Kenny Chesney and Keith Urban...

Toni Samaniego, Amy Linert, Jeff Hanson, Steve Judge, Becky Eubank, Kim Haberer, Mathew Valez, Angie Mendez and Cathy Ballman.

Thanks again for your input and for helping us build a better Tim & Willy!

Becky Lynn recently spent time with a kid who stuffed a note inside a bottle and threw it into the ocean.  Much to his surprise, two years later, he got a response!

Check out Becky Lynn's video notebook here:

Message in a Bottle

Ok, this is not only completely untrue- It could not be more absurd!

I was mostly writing this to see if anyone ever clicked these news headlines.

For what it's worth, If we DID buy Hendrick, I'd fire Jimmy, Jeff & Dale Jr. and bring on the GREATEST RACE CAR DRIVER EVER... Tony Stewart!

Tim Hendrick...I mean Hattrick